As I lose more weight (20 pounds in 34 days so far) I ask myself, “Why did I ever let myself go like this and gain all this weight?” I tell myself, “You were happier at 185, and better off. You felt good and had so much more energy and enthusiasm were tireless. You accomplished so much more then.”
Don’t we think the same thing about God sometimes? I remember times I felt His presence and His embrace. I was so close to Him I could reach out and touch Him. When we’ve experienced the love and intimacy of His fellowship, why do we ever allow ourselves to drift and fall away? To let go of that tenderness and unconditional love and grace? There’s no more blessed feeling in the world than that intimacy with God.
Yet, time after time, we (at least I) turn away. We (I) climb back on the throne and try my best to rule and reign as if I were in charge. As if I knew better than God. When we’ve been to the mountain top basking in God’s grace and love and presence, why do we allow ourselves to backslide into the valley of the slime and quagmire of self?