abiding in Christ, attitude, behavior, Biblical Principals, changes, choices, God, God's Sovereignty, God's Will, God's Word, Grace, Grace / Mercy, Obedience, showing love, trusting God, Truth

The 800-pound resentment in the room

I have a problem with resentment at times.  As I prayed about my resentments, God showed me several things.  First, He showed me that my resentment is self-inflicted. Second, if I hold on to my resentment, it will soon take up residence in my mind. I will allow the person I have resentment towards live rent free in my head.

The word resentment actually means to play over again. In other words, instead of handling it, I play the thing that caused my resentment over and over. I keep bringing my hurt up, mostly to myself.

Some folks equate resentment with anger.  I don’t think I do that. If I get angry atresentment someone, I normally take positive steps rather quickly to resolve it with whom I’m angry. I don’t stay angry long. Resolving anger usually involves forgiving someone we perceive has wronged us.

Resentment is another story. I often discover that my resentment rears it’s ugly head with someone I perceive wronged me. And after I’ve prayed about it or talked with an accountability brother, I realize they didn’t wrong me at all.

Sometimes I’m good at holding on to resentment and playing it over and over in my head. I heard a quote once that pretty much nails my resentment,

Holding on to resentment is like grabbing a red-hot coal intending to throw it at somebody else; but you are the one who gets burned.

What I discover when I’m stewing in my resentment is that I blossomed the resentment myself. I created ill will towards another for no reason.  That means I have to

  1. Dig deep, pray and ask God to reveal the source of my resentment. What did I do or what did I say to birth this toxic emotion?
  2. Repent of it.
  3. Lay it at the foot of the cross
  4. Walk away.

This process works every time.


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