As I get older, I find myself thinking about the strangest stuff.
For instance: The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60-year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s on your birthday, your life sucks!
The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
I can’t understand why women are okay that J C Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
I find I can get by with saying about anything to anyone if I tell them I’m just having a senior moment.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their noses?
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married.
Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Ellie, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course Opie were all single.
The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.