Georgia Cancels Winter

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post contains no socially or spiritually redeeming qualities. It is fictional parody and is intended for the sole, private use of my audience. Any reproduction, rebroadcast, re-blogging, sharing, copying, gossiping about or reprinting of any portion of this post without the express written consent of the owner is strictly encouraged.

ATLANTA–Georgia Governor Nathan Deal today signed an executive order which cancelled Winter for all but the northern most counties of the Peach State.  In a tweet earlier today the governor said, "Weeks of high temps and little chance of snow means no Winter in Georgia. We'll go from Summer right to Spring." #georgiahateswinter

An unnamed source familiar with the governor reported that Christmas was the apparent trigger for Governor Deal’s sweeping statewide ban. The source reported Governor Deal received a new sled and a pair of ice skates for Christmas. He was disappointed, the source said, that he probably wouldn’t get to use them this year.

The Winter ban was particularly disappointing to Atlanta area blogger Steveme 04222013 Sawyer. “I was born and raised in Iowa,” Sawyer said. “Some years we’d have snow as early as October. We had years when snow stayed on the ground for a month,” he said. “One winter it snowed so hard and long we didn’t have school for three days straight.  I loved it and still miss a good long, hard snow even today.”

In a statement from the environmental group “Winter Fun Matters” a spokesman said the group is planning a protest on the steps of the Georgia State Capitol Thursday. “We cannot allow this governor to choose which seasons he likes and which seasons he doesn’t like,” the spokesman said. “WFM believes that all seasons matter and should be equally protected by the Constitution and the Weather Channel.”

A spokesman for the governor’s office said two winters ago the State legislature granted the governor the power to cancel or extend any season without legislative approval.

The ban fueled a Twitter storm.

Pop singer Maddingo tweeted, “Who the #)(%*@ does that %*^(%^-3@%^& think he is? That #!@%^#! needs to be @#<;%^&* impeached!  That #?”%@%-bomb @#:”?/%,.<> isn’t sane. “I’ll never set foot in that #@#x%^* state again.

Actress Ashloser Dudd was equally as upset and tweeted thoughts and words I’d be arrested for printing here.

Mickey Moore-or-less tweeted, “This president is a loser, a loose cannon, a rich millionaire and stocks are up and the Patriots will win the Super Bowl and I’m smarter than they are and the Russians stole the election from Hillary and we will overcome and ask not what you can do for your country and I have a dream and would someone answer the phone and you can’t make a silk purse out of a liberal’s ear and, would someone see who’s at the front door now. . . what was I saying?”

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About Steven Sawyer

God blessed me with the gift of writing. Mom told me I wrote paragraphs in second grade when others were learning to write sentences. I spent more than three decades in professional writing gigs. For the past eight years I've combined my passion for writing with my love for the Lord. He and I write a Christ-centered, family-friendly blog to glorify God Monday-thru Friday at https://stevensawyer.wordpress.com/. My wife and I have four grown children and two precious granddaughters we co-parent with their mom. I'm a Galatians 2:20 disciple of Christ seeking to allow Christ to live His life in me, through me, and as me.

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