advice, attitude, behavior, conversation, God

Hump day humor/Midweek madness

Right about now at this stage of the week we need to laugh. Let’s all chase away thelaugh at work blues and the stress and chuckle a little bit today. We had to have the garage door repaired.

The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

 

      He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

 

    He said, ‘NO, it’s not.’ Four is larger than two.’
  • When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’ His reply: ‘I know, I already got that side.’
  • I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
    I said “May I have large bills, please”.
    She looked at me and said “I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.”
    When I got up off the floor I explained it to her.
  • I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.
  • The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.
    I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’

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