Creation, God, Relationship

If I could ever . . .

Posted on by Steve Sawyer in Creation, God, Relationship

If I could ever have . . .comparison trap
If I could ever do . . .
If I could ever marry . . .
If I could ever own . . .
If I could ever accomplish . . .
If I could ever be . . .
If I could ever make . . .
If I could ever get his/her approval

then . . . maybe then . . .enough people . . .or that one person. . . would begin to look at me and say, “You know, you’re alright.”

And if they say that about me, then . . .maybe . . .just maybe . . .I’ll begin to feel “okay” about myself and it will fix whatever it is inside of me that’s broken.

Is this about anybody else out there besides me? Do we sometimes look around at other people and what they have and what they do and how much money they have to make us feel better about ourselves?  Do we sometimes compare our lives to others?

We all do it in some season in our lives. At our core, when we compare ourselves to others to make us feel alright about ourselves, it’s called envy.  Solomon, the wisest man in the world said this:

Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind. Ecclesiastes 4:4

If we believe Solomon, then every work of ours, every  job, every service, every use of our skills and talents is motivated by envy.
And it’s all worth nothing–like striving after wind.

Envy rots the bones.

There is no win comparing ourselves to those around us.

 

16 thoughts on “If I could ever . . .”

  1. I used to compare myself a lot to those around me- family members, friends, coworkers. But the older I get, the more comfortable I am not only with who I am, but also with all of my present circumstances (job, earnings, talents, etc.) I pray about this a lot when I find myself comparing myself to others. Something that helps a lot is when I read Romans 9:20-21.

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  2. I think that if there was a cure for comparison/envy then God wouldn’t have placed it on His tablets as one of the 10 commandments – Do not covet. Meaning to desire something someone else own. I believe it’s also about not envying what Spiritual gifts etc God has chosen to give to others. Instead I try to turn the table and look for what the Lord has given me instead.
    But granted – I’m off facebook because I mentally couldn’t stop comparing myself (followed by feeling inferior) to all the “perfect mommies” or “live life to the fullest” folks out there… so… I guess I partly deal with it by running away too. My 2 Â¥ worth.

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    1. Leneln, Yes, I am almost off Facebook for the same reasons. I still publish my blog posts out there and occasionally check on my friends, but I don’t cruise FB anymore for the same reasons you don’t Thanks for stopping by and adding your delightful comments. God bless.

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  3. Self worth has always been an issue with me. It is a struggle that has and continues to leave me asking questions such as: How could I ever be good enough to be loved by God? What can I possibly give to a God who gave me everything when everyone else has something real to give? This post truly touches the very heart of the matter. Thank you for writing this Steven. It is always a joy to read.

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    1. Thank you, burresor. I always enjoy hearing from you. I know those same struggles at times as well, and Jesus is slowly answering those questions about my worth with His love and tender fellowship. Thanks again and God bless.

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  4. That is a great post. I found out that my number one strength on Strengthfinder is competition. Wow how you do deal with that in a Christian context? The temptation is always to default to comparing myself to others but worst that than attempt to destroy the competition. Good information.

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    1. Keith, Wow! Thanks for sharing your struggle and your encouraging comments. In my opinion, a healthy competitive spirit in the arena or on the playing field is acceptable. Are you an athlete or do you participate in competitive sports? Destroying the competition might be a little over the top, but wanting to be best in a competition, I think, is admirable. I have to continually remind myself where my strength and my ability to perform comes from. I have to continually give God all the credit for all my successes. Thanks again for writing and may God bless and use your competitive spirit for His glory. Nice blog by the way. I’m a huge advocate of discipleship.

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      3. I always told my congregation. “I am competitive and we are not going to let Satan win! Our God is too strong, our mission to urgent and the message to transformational.”

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  6. I think it is a universal trait…….everyone, everywhere at one time or another compares themselves to others and finds flaws in themselves. Solomon wouldn’t have mentioned it i am sure unless it were so. The trick is to learn to release those thoughts for the self-destruction they represent, and find new ways of looking at ourselves and the world. Some do it on the strength of their own personalities, others rely on God’s grace and love to help them through it. Some never do learn how to change their self images and so continue to think the “what if” game.
    good and thought provoking post.

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    1. Suze, thanks for writing. You are so right. I’d hate to think that I spent the rest of my life relying on my own feeble personality to figure out if I’m okay or not. I’m going to rely on God’s opinion of me. Tomorrow I’m going to write about what God thinks of us and how that will cure our envy.

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